I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
