whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize