Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
