He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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