remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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