Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
