so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
