You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
