She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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