Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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