If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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