Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
