What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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