What a fucking waste of an outfit
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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