I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
