I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
