i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
