in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
