she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
