I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize