Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
