im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i think my cat just said my name.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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