They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
