i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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