Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
