He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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