Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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