Well douche your snatch and let's go!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
