Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
