Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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