let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
