I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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