would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
