That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
