the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
