Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
