Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
