Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
