I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
