hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
