Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
