Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
