I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize