Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My dick has a subreddit
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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