In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize