Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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