New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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