wat bout pragnant strippers??
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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