I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
