I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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