Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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