it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
