i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
