And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
