would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
