Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
