that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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