If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
