So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
