big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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