with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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