Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
