so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
