he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
