You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
