So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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