Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
