When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
