New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
