"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
