I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
