i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
